yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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