i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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