Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
