i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
