Your face is a jimmy john
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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