Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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