Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize