singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
