weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize