Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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