We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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