Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Holy shit dude........stairs
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
