Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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