Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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