is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
