I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
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