your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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