my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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