My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
