I think I died a long time ago.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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