So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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