whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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