Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
