we have officially mastered the walk of shame
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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