The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
