Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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