Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Where is the hickey?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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