Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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