just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Semen is not good for contacts.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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