I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize