Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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