do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
