I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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