somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
