No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I want to fling myself into the sun
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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