i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
