Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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