we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
