Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I touched a dick in church today
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
