You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.