I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
