you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Pants are for mortals
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.