are you so shy because you have an std?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈