Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
