you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
