Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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