so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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