he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize