he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Less talking, more tequila
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
