Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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