Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
