I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
love makes seman taste better
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
