Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
