I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
So squirting runs in the family.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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