8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
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he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
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My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
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