I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She bit a glass in half.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
