Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
