what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize