I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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