Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
