is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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