so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You should frame my arrest warrant.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
