why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
