Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
