i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
