he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
