it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
